The Party That Should Not Be In My Pants
by JC Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: Another prompt. FitzWard SkyeWard Skimmons. It could happen. Maybe. Probably. Sometimes missions just go awry. Wrong. And then the sexual harassment becomes a real thing.


So, being the glutton for punishment that I am, I took another lovely prompt from CharWright5, seriously guys, go read her stuff. This time with Agents of Shield.

This time: "I can't believe you talked me into this." w/Ward with Fitz or either Skye.

Yeah, she knows I love FitzWard... but SkyeWard happened... you know, based on these ship names, Ward is never on top. Oh, so good at this game Agent May. GG.

So yes. Enjoy it. There's Ward. Fitz... Skye... Simmons... and a whole lot of "what was I on?"

I added Skimmons. Because Skimmons is a real thing.

But I don't own anything. Copyright belonging to Marvel, etc. And probably by default Disney.

And now without further ado...

**The Party That Should Not Be In My Pants**

* * *

"I can't believe you talked me into this." Ward said, almost stupefied as he and Fitz walked into the club. They didn't have to stand in the line, heaven forbid, it stretched around the block. Now the two agents were neck deep in patrons dressed in tight pants, graphic shirts, and an obscene amount of body glitter. Oh, and some had less clothing on than others. Ward was certain that someone in the club was wearing just body glitter. And no, he could not tell what gender the person was.

"Would you quit your whining already? We're here and nothing's going to change that." Fitz hissed as quietly as he could, hoping Ward could still hear him over the pounding music. Ward did. But so did everyone else on the comm line.

There was a dead radio silence before Coulson coughed. "Eyes on the target?"

"Yes. Door's on the other side of the room. Just like the plans said." Ward muttered, leaning in close to Fitz as if he was whispering only to him.

"Play it cool." Coulson ordered. "You have another half hour before the shift changes. Are Simmons and Skye in position?"

"We are." Simmon's voice, somewhat drowned out by the music, replied. "Skye's almost done cracking the security."

From across the club, Ward could make out Skye and Simmons, both dressed to party in not very modest clothes. Ward could swear that was the most skin he'd ever seen Simmons show, and Skye looked… just amazing. She was currently laughing with Simmons, snuggling next to the biochemist and totally playing the role of the cutesy date. Ugh, why was he stuck with Fitz?

"Ow." Fitz yelped, elbowing Ward. "Watch it."

"Oh. Sorry." Ward said almost stonily. He didn't realize his grip on Fitz had tightened that much.

"Your tense." Fitz said softly, as he pried Ward's hand off his waist. "Perhaps a drink?"

"I'll get us some. You go find us a table." Ward said, gruffly, patting Fitz's cheek before walking towards the bar. Behind him, and in his ear he could heart Fitz yelling his order.

"Ward. You're not exactly selling the date part." Coulson's voice rang out in his ear. "Try smiling at him… a kiss or two wouldn't hurt." Crap. Of course Coulson could see everything thanks to the camera in the pair of glasses he was wearing. A snort came through the line. Had to be May. She'd suggested the more sophisticated look for him, while a slightly more modern, young look for Fitz. He'd felt slightly dirty from the looks the bouncers had given him outside and also, he was not gonna let May forget the humiliation when Tripp had seen them together and started making Daddy jokes, in front of the whole team.

"Well Boss, I would but I'm not sure if that would fall over the line of sexual harassment." Ward muttered darkly, flashing a smile at the bartender, giving his order for two beers.

"Uh, yeah. Totally not buying it." Skye's voice drawled, amused. Ward could see her out of the corner of his eye, with Simmons, giggling. Fuck. Why did the lab Raina was involved with have to be in the same building as a club? And why, of all nights, did it have to be gay night? And why the hell was he with Fitz? Tripp would have made a much better choice for this breaking and entering mission. But no, Coulson had him take Fitz. Because Fitz was a techie. Fitz could do things Tripp couldn't. But Ward knew better. Fitz didn't want Simmons anywhere near Tripp. Paying for the drinks, he did his best to avoid the lustful stares he got as he made his way over to the table Fitz managed to grab. As he got closer, he had to admit, Fitz cleaned up nice. He looked rather dapper in his white collared shirt and blazer, as opposed to the cardigans and lab coats the engineer was usually in.

"Finally." Fitz said, taking the beer. "I was beginning to think you'd left me. Like I'm one of those terrible dates that get the guy to leave through the bathroom window."

"Aw, come on baby." Ward forced himself to say, sliding into the chair next to Fitz and pulling the shorter man closer. "I would never leave you alone." Though, he could totally leave through the bathroom window.

"Oh, that was smooth." Skye commented, a guffaw following through the earpiece. "Daddy."

"You two are so cute together." Simmons snickered.

"Let's keep the funny to a minimum people. Remember we have a job to do." Coulson said sternly, but Ward could tell the man was smiling. Silence followed with the occasional security update from May. Oh they were going to pay for this so bad.

Surprisingly, things went rather well. Ward and Fitz managed to get through the door, up four floors, past security into one of the lab's computer rooms. There, Ward stood guard while Fitz plugged a flash drive in and began copying files. Everything was going according to plan. Except the power went out. For the entire block. Coulson gave the order to pull out. That was when the communications cut out.

"Damn files might be corrupted. If only we'd had a second more." Fitz mused as Ward dragged him by the hand through the dark corridors.

"Something took out the power. I have to get you out of here." Ward said, trying to see through the darkness. Footsteps echoed in the corridor, heading towards them. Ward pulled Fitz into back into the computer room. There, the two waited, Fitz behind Ward, the whole time Ward not letting go of Fitz's shaking hand. The engineer behind him was breathing heavy, Ward making no attempts to shush him as the footsteps drew nearer to the door they'd left slightly ajar. The door was slowly pushed open and suddenly Ward was facing the other way, his lips crushed against Fitz's as a loud groan of disgust was let out.

"You two. What the hell?" A man in a security guard uniform growed, flashlight shining in their faces.

"Sorry. So sorry. Couldn't… uh control the urges." Fitz said, apologetically, his hands moving to grope Ward's butt.

"Well control them elsewhere." The guard said sternly, clearly disgusted. "God, the minute the lights go out. Get out, now."

"Right." Fitz said, pulling Ward out of the room, leaving the guard muttering about having to sanitize the room.

"How… how did you know to do that?" Ward whispered as they headed for the stairs.

"Oh, I might have read Agent Romanoff's field reports before going in. Something about people being uncomfortable… and combine that with shock factor that we were… supposedly about to do it..." Fitz said, grinning. "You think he bought it?"

"Oh, he probably did. Didn't even bother to escort us out." Ward smirked. "Good job Fitz."

"I wonder what…wait, someone's coming." Fitz said suddenly, as footsteps, echoing in the stairwell, moved closer to them.

"Kiss me."

"Do you wan' me to feel ye up this time?" Fitz asked, cheekily as he leaned in. At that, Ward grabbed Fitz's left hand and shoved it under his shirt, while shoving the right down his pants as their lips met. His own hands started unbuttoning the collared shirt the shorter man was wearing; Fitz leaned in, his hand wandering across Ward's stomach. If it wasn't for the fact that they might be shot dead, this was nice. It felt nice.

"Hello boys. Oh." Simmons' voice hitched as her flashlight beam fell on the two.

"What's wrong Simmons, did you find them? Holy…" Skye's eyes grew wide as Ward and Fitz broke apart.

"This is… um…" Fitz stammered.

"We thought that…" Ward began.

"His hand is still up your shirt." Skye said, smirking at Ward. Fitz let out a flustered sound as he yanked his hand free.

"Hand in pants." Simmons followed up. "Oh, it's rather stuck in there, isn't it?"

"Jealous?" Ward asked, trying not to sound hopeful.

"No. Just good to see that…" Skye smiled before continuing on in her best Ward voice. "Agent Grant Ward. Specialist. Trained in everything, including the art of making out." Ward frowned at that as the four of them made their way out of the darkened building. Once they were back on The Bus, Skye and Simmons continuing to crack jokes at Ward's expense. Fitz continued to blush the entire time as the girls grilled him on Ward's kissing prowess. Ward swore that he'd get them back for that. Next time. Now he had to pray Fitz didn't file a sexual harassment complaint. But judging from the looks the curly haired man was giving him, they were good.

* * *

The End


End file.
